Here I am, Lord You can have it all!

Hi guys! 

I wanted my first blog post to be about why I decided to go on the World Race! If you asked Jan a year ago if she would want to leave college to live out of a backpack for 9 months the answer would 100% be no. BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS. Last semester at chapel, Jeff Dyer of Heartfire Missions came and spoke about past missionaries that had a “yes” on their hearts for God and impacted entire nations for the Gospel. He started the message repeating lyrics from a worship song we had just sang, “here I am, You can have it all” to highlight how being available for God is powerful. At one point Jeff said, “while we have been sitting here in Chapel, 82,000 people will die without hearing the name of Jesus.” This whole message I felt Jesus tugging on my heart strings for the unreached, those that will die without ever hearing the Gospel. I was suddenly overcome with emotion and my heart started beating fast. The feeling actually scared me at first but then I felt peace as I realized that it was the Holy Spirit. It was at that moment that I knew God was calling me to stop chasing college and start chasing Him!

At this point all I knew was that 1) God is calling me to be radically available for the Gospel and 2) I needed to find out what missions program to pursue! Over the rest of the semester I became surrounded by community that loved Jesus so passionately and it was then that I started to hear about the World Race. I actually knew a little about it from my mom! She tried to get my two brothers to do it after they graduated high school. Anyways, I started praying about the World Race, specifically that if it was supposed to be a door to walk through that God would open it. I woke up one morning feeling discouraged and stressed about not receiving clarity about future plans. While praying I asked Jesus why I was feeling so discouraged and He pointed me to Matthew 7:7:

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

ASK: I was going straight to stress instead of kneeling at the feet of the Father in humility and awareness of my need for God. 

SEEK: seeking God connects my prayers with responsible action in pursuing God’s will!

KNOCK: I must be persistent in prayer when asking God for guidance! Prayer opens doors. 

Here is a prayer I wrote in response to Matthew 7:7,

11/10/21

”Jesus, it is no coincidence that you’ve put on my heart doors. Praying for You to show me a door for a mentor, and now praying, for the first time, for a door to be opened for the world race! Honestly Lord I do not know where to start with all of this. I trust You. I will be persistent in prayer and attentive in listening to Your voice.“

This was a turning point in my prayer language. As I stepped into my identity as a daughter of the King, I prayed that I would seek God so that I would be able to discern His will in my life. A good friend introduced me to my mentor, my school counselor affirmed me in pursuing the race, and everyday became full of the intimacy in my relationship with Jesus. I applied, got an interview, and had to wait a whole month to hear back! In that time I got so much confirmation from God that I was doing exactly what He wanted me to. For example, I got to go to Passion 2022 in Atlanta Georgia where David Platt preached on the unreached and the Great Commission. “God desires for people from all nations to hear and receive the Good News of His great love in Jesus,“ he said. 3.2 BILLION PEOPLE do not have access to the Gospel! 

My Christmas break was hard for a lot of reasons. Through it all I was brought to me knees fully dependent on God because I had nothing else to give. God taught me the sweetness of full surrender. Processing it all with my mentor back at school, she asked me what the cry of my heart was over break. Without hesitating I answered, “Here I am, Lord You can have it all!” I did not realize the full-circle moment till I re-watched Chapel with Jeff Dyer! God was speaking those words over me all that time!

In this I learned that God is so gentle because He gives us every reason to trust Him and His will for our lives. Even so, He gives us little reasons everyday to confirm His faithfulness. Do you trust what God is doing in your life? Its a simple question, but a hard one to surrender every day! 

One day as I was reading Exodus, Exodus 16:3 stuck out to me. It says:

And the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”

I wrote in my journal in response:

“Here the people of Israel are complaining to Moses and Aaron. They lack the faith to know that the Lord God, who has already been faithful in leading them out of Egypt, will provide food in the wilderness! This seems so selfish, near side, and silly yet I DO THIS JESUS! The Lord hears my grumbling as “spiritual amnesia“—forgetting God’s deliverance and provision. This ultimately is evidence of my sin. Julianne, remember God’s faithfulness. When you feel like complaining look back on God’s fingerprints over all of your life.” 

It was really hard to write this post because God has been doing so much in my heart! I prayed a lot about it and these are the things I felt lead to share about my journey with the race! 

Thank you for reading! 

Julianne